then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
