we have officially lost it.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
