That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
