I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize