That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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