belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
