Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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