He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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