Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
