Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
