I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
This baby is an asshole
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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