Pants 0. Shit 1.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize