I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
