Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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