I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
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He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
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i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize