He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
