is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
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They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
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