drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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