Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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