the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I FOUND THE LEGS
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
