O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
