I didn't shave. On purpose
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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