I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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