i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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