you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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