somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
