There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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