...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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