super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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