Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
its liver damage thursday
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize