I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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