quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
