Is it normal to miss your booty call?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I don't deserve a penis
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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