Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
