butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
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He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
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