i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You are a genius and a whore.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
