I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I woke up under a house in Key West
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