from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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