in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
