How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Randomize