I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
