it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
