Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
