Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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