So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
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If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
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17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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