he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
