Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
