I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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