She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
He had one of those small greek statue penises
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
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I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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