Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
