So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
