So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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