Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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