youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize