The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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