My Higher Power is John Stamos
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
