My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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