I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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