Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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