Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
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